The Monologues of the Master

I were going to write a long and whiny entry tonight. (un) fortunately the 7 kilometer walk back home drained my energy. If anyone wants to read a long and whiny monologue, please let me know and I will get on it tomorrow.

//Mastern

Last Saturday I went to a grading session for a local soccer team. The soccer series in Australia work differently from those in Sweden as instead of promotion and relegation every club has a team in every series and put people in the team that is most appropriate for their skill level. 

 

Anyway the grading session were for the Queens Park FC team from division 5 to 9. I were picked for division 8 which should give more game time than last season. The coaches will definitely be better as worse assholes than the coaches for Helsingborgs AIS last season is hard to find! With a bit of luck I will also do some refereeing this season as the manager for the team asked about anyone willing to be a referee. Of course I volunteered I mean getting paid to walk around on a football pitch, blowing a whistle at random and invoking wrath, who would say no to all that fun again? ;)

 

On another topic  I made a good exchange when I traded a semibroken computer (slow as hell, battery broken)  for a semibroken bike. I need a semi broken bike more than a semibroken computer residing under my bed. My trading partner , German Jan, in return needed a semibroken computer more than a semibroken bike as he is doing a East Coast trip, and noone in their right mind would go 3000 kilometers with a shit bike. 

 

Finally I went to a solicitor earlier today to have my degree converted to an Australian degree. This might be another $200 down the drain, but it might also be a great investment. The problem, I reckon is that noone have no idea what "Master in Social Science: Service Management" means in Australia (In Sweden the problem is the reverse the companies DO know) with a bit of luck the solicitor will just check the school (Lunds University = Good) and the duration (Master = 4 years =good) and then give me a good Australian degree. Anyway he is getting back to me on Friday..

 

That's all

 

//Mastern out

Realizing that the employers have probably blocked my E-mail I tried a new approach on the employment market this week. I tried the power of networking. Supposedly this is the major route to jobs and with my E-mail blocked, why not?

 

The first place I tried this on was the Ivy:s staff party this Monday.To get in you had to get a bracelet which was not that easy to get since noone really knows who I am over there...After some attempts I actually managed to get my department bracelet and get in.

 

The nice thing this evening was that all the staff got different bracelets so I could easily detect who was a hiring manager. This is indeed a good thing when you trying to suck up to people to get a job. After some not really successful attempts I actually managed to find a manager that told me to come by the day after to discuss my career opportunities.

 

Among other things to mention is:

• I were not even remotely close to getting some
• Some people asked where I had been the last month indicating that they somehow recognized me, this was kind of awkward since I had no idea who they were
• The Australian eqvivalent of the Sharia religious police, The RSL marshall, told me at 9 pm that my alcohol consumption was over otherwise I risked getting kicked out. After 30 boring minutes of water drinking I managed to find a mask (some people were wearing costumes) and as the masked man the open and free bar was open and free again until closing time.
  
  

Yesterday I received a challenge from my sister. Something called "The fitness fight" After a healthy January and only a few blissful days with the candy bag and 2 liter coke bottle in February I am unsure whether I really want to take up this challenge. Then again if I am challenged by my sibling I can barely say no, can I? 

 

Since my sister is in Sweden and I am in Australia it's hardly feasible to actually have a face off at the end of the month. So instead we are having a gymflex picture challenge which biology gives me a great head start in. Simply put a woman can't go below 14 % body fat without putting herself through hell. A male can go down to 6% before the real hell start. Thus a man will look more fit on a pic than a woman will.  Good luck sis, you will have to go through hell to beat me. (http://www.builtlean.com/2010/08/03/ideal-body-fat-percentage-chart/)

 

That a woman can be more fit than a man (Or at least more than me) is something I experience every time I go to the gym classes. Today I experienced it more than I usually do as I decided to do two classes. The reason was that last week the instructor on the Sunday afternoon was hot, so I wanted to double the pleasure. Today however the hot one had been replaced with something which encouraged the participant to look somewhere else. So all in all it was two tiresome and straining hours and my eyes where unsatisfied afterwards as well (Gladly I started seeing a bit blurry after the first hour)

 

Moving on to another topic. Yesterday, A Saturday at 9 pm I received a long text by a woman I have not heard from in a while. Among appropriate reasons to text a guy at 9 pm a Saturday can be mentioned "I am feeling lonely, can you come by so we can get to know each other better" "I am out drinking with my friends wanna, come by and have a drink" etc.  The message I got however was very inappropriate! She simply wanted to know if I could fix her a job. Since I am not an employment agency I can not. But even if I were an employment agency I would still be annoyed if someone texted me about it at 9 pm a Saturday night. How rude!

 

Moving on to the third an concluding topic of todays monologues:

 

Tomorrow I am going to a staff party for a place for a place where I supposedly work although I never work there. The manager looks like she was really hot ten years ago. On a staff party they serve ethanol in different forms. Ethanol is known to make people more beautiful. Should I try to take the bedway to increase my career opportunities at the place? (Is it called "taking the bedway" in English i.e sleeping with a superior to increase your career prospects) 

 

That's all

 

//Mastern out

 

 

 

Another day at school, and I lightened it all up with my great perspective of evolution theory. It was when the teacher explained the term "bogan" (Aussie slang for white trash) That I came up with some truly amazing statements about evolutionary theory. According to the teacher a bogan was a woman who had like 8 kids with 8 different fathers.  From a societal point of view that is unemployed trash with a drinking problem who goes on welfare. From an evolutionary point of view. That woman is a true winner. From an evolutionary point of view a woman should have as many kids as possible with as many different fathers as possible to maximize her chance of gene survival. Darwin failed this day to the moral conservative creationist of class mates rabble but I will have to live with that. On a separate notice I know a woman who is almost halfway to bogan status with 3 kids with 3 fathers. But she is only 29, so she still have 15 years of child bearing ahead of her, to ultimately win the evolution..;)

 

As for the work updates there is a few:

 

I actually worked a day as "office assistant" last week. In reality I were moving chairs for 4 hours, but go the title since I interview for an office assistant role at that recruitment company a few months prior. When calling the recruiter to nag myself some more job, she appraised my great chair moving skills, and told me to call another guy. Upon calling the other guy he turned out to be on a holiday