Crazy night out..
Between my last blog entry and Friday night life was pretty dull and bland. It was not made better by the fact that I started a new course in school led by no-one less than Queen Elizabeth. Obviously not the real Queen but similar accent and annoyance factor. Another annoying fact was that I was called to a model casting but did not get the job.
This was by no means a disaster as I know I am looking good but not THAT good. It is still a shame though as most people are status whores and a lot of people would prefer the prospect of dating a Swedish model, than a Swedish waiter.
Oh well let's fast forward to the crazy night out. Danni the Dane was leaving Sydney for Cairns with the morning flight and considered it to be a good idea to booze the night away so after finishing a waiter shift at a place that does not expect staff to fake smile but simply to carry plates or perform whatever tasks there is at hand. (Which is great by the way, who in their right mind would actually be happy working as a waiter? Boring and close to minimum wage not exactly inspiring. Luckily the minimum wage in Australia is $19 an hour and waiting position pays $21, so life could still be a lot worse i.e. working in a Bangladesh Sweatshop)
Anyway we met up at Hyde Park where Danni and his friends where performing the masochistic procedure of drinking the content of a box of wine. Following the wise words of a former university mate "To be at a pub sober is as inappropriate as it is being at work drunk" I joined in on this exercise, which as it turned out was not the only exercise i joined in on last night. After the tastebud punishing assignment of finishing the box, Danni’s French friend convinced us of how great a certain place in King's Cross was. What he failed to mention was that they were charging a staggering $25 entry fee and that the place was actually fucking lame!
After a short while at the expensive and lame place also known as Trademark Hotel; fate made us leave. Or actually it was the lame Frenchman that made us leave since he somehow angered the security guard and got himself kicked out. Since the place was lame the rest of us followed. By the drunken logic "We visited a lame place in Kings Cross, ergo Kings Cross must be a lame location" we started walking towards the city.
While walking I got in "send an overly extensive and emotional text message" mode. This is an occasional habit I have when getting drunk with very limited usefulness as women don't tend to become more positively minded just because they get a massive text message spanning over eight text messages in the middle of the night. It still makes more sense to me to get drunk and whine to the source of the problem than paying $150 to whine to a charlatan with a degree in psychology
When reaching message 5 of this extensive and as it turned out unanswered text, I was interrupted. Apparently my crew had somehow managed to anger a large group of angry teenage punks. Fortunately after some of the usual name calling and what are you looking at clichés the battle never took place. This was good from both an arithmetical and motivational view. From an arithmetical view it was good that the battle was cancelled as they outnumbered us 3 to 1. From a motivational point of view it was also good, as I had no motivation whatsoever for a battle neither at the moment nor in the long run. 15 minutes later fuelled by beer muscles Danni’s French friend and Japanese friend considered it to be a good idea to find the angry mob of 14 years old that had mucked us earlier. This was an extremely bad idea so I and Danni went to the Star Bar to play some pool instead.
After being smashed in pool for a few rounds I went to the toilet. There I came across a couple trying to get it on, not in a booth but in the open. Like a porno movie! :D Unlike a porno movie the guy could not get it up which is not exactly unexpected from someone drunk enough getting the idea to get it on in the open. Oh anyway after a long piss I got inspired. I walked to woman pulled down her panties and gave her a lick with my razor tongue. Strangely enough none of them got offended which was also very porno movie like... :) What was unlike a porno movie was that instead of getting a BJ and squirting a Santa Beard on the woman in the end; the security guard came in and kicked us all out.
Oh well he was nice enough to not press any charges and settled with giving us a 24 hour ban, which ruins my prospect of doing the same thing at the same toilet tonight, but I am sure I can live with that.
After this event I and Danni had a few more uneventful drinks at another venue before he headed for the airport and I headed back home.
But to summarise: The crew getting kicked out from two venues, almost getting in a fight with a large gang of angry teenagers, joining in on other peoples sexual activities. That’s a crazy night I reckon, and a night to remember. :)
// The Master
