Maybe the smartest kid after all, black chocolate and the kitram yoga religion
This Thursday we got our result back from another retarded course I am starting to think that I might be the smartest kid of the stupid kids after all after scoring 98% and a very clear HD. It did go worse for another classmate who somehow managed to fail and sent a text to me whining about this. I simply replied that if losing $250 and having to write the stupid test again were such a big deal in her life, her life in general must be very good, and I should be the one sending texts whining about my life to her instead. After these wise words she realised that her life was great and stopped whining. The truth can be a powerful weapon sometimes... :)
Good Friday did really not live up to the name as I had a cold and it was a really boring day. In general I think it's a very strange thing in Christianity to celebrate that the founder was executed, but hey if that's what he wanted right? If I were a demigod and some jerks tried nailing me to a cross I would just have fried them with some lightning bolts from my hands...
Today I went to the beach reading a magazine included in my gym membership. Mostly boring shit about supplements and stuff, but it claimed dark chocolate was healthy so I bought myself a bar. Apparently dark chocolate is good against heart attack but bad against obesity (while light chocolate on the other hand has no pros and also causes obesity) This is I dilemma as I do know some obese people but I also used to know a guy who died from a heart attack. Obesity is disgusting while dying from heart attack is nothing I fear at present.
If my life follows the example from the guy who died from a heart attack I should be pretty safe at present anyway. Cause that guy was bitter, alone and unemployed for ages and he was healthy as a horse (Smashed me completely at 10 kilometres cross country running at least). Then he found a girlfriend and a job he liked and seemed really happy, more or less living his dream... Then out of a sudden he got a heart attack and died. Since I am hardly living the dream, I reckon I would be pretty immune to a heart attack or as the Swedish saying "Evil gunpowder is difficult to destroy"
Learning point from this story is that if I somehow find the girl and job I want, I should start eating moderate doses of dark chocolate to keep both my heart and my fitness at safe levels... ;)
Still bored with life and coughing too much visit the gym I decided to revisit the Kitram Yoga Religion. I went there a few months ago but missed half of the chanting that time since I somehow managed to misread the advertising folder. For some reason I actually managed to misread the folder today as well, but this time I was an hour early. Since the bar next door served $10 cider jugs (1.1 litre) this was no harm done and instead I saw it as an opportunity to find out whether the Kitram Yoga Religion works when drunk. If anyone wonders: it does not. Chanting boring songs when drunk does not give me spiritual guidance (hallucinations). It was on the other hand a bit annoying that I felt a need to pee after 15 minutes when the session lasted for two hours....
Having said that Kitram yoga religion has its perks
- You only pay $10 and you get a large buffet afterwards
- No silly rules and talks about redemption and hell
- More realistic approach to the age of the universe (Although 13 trillion years seems a bit too much it's still more reasonable than the 6000 years the bible claims)
And to name the cons
- Chanting boring Indian songs for two hours without even getting hallucinations are boring.
- The included buffet only contained vegetarian meals.
//Mastern
Dedicated reader, semiprofessional players and failed follow up research.
When viewing the visitor statistics for my blog I noticed a peculiar phenomen. That the "Read entries" graph were a lot a higher than the "numbers of visitors" graph. Usually these graphs have pretty much the same number, let's say the total numbers of entries read is 8, well then maybe the number of visitors shows 6, so every visitor read in average an entry or two. But for the last entry it was different; the numbers of visitors were 6 but the number of entries read were 25. This confuses me as the logical explanation for this is that someone out of a sudden got the idea to read 20 straight entries in this blog. Since my blog is not twitter and every entry is pretty long this must have taken some time. So who is the one that all of a sudden has taken a large interest in my life?
Moving on to yesterdays soccer practise. Since only eight people showed up we invited three randoms guy in the park to join the practise. I and another guy from the team joined up with the random guys which turned out to be a great move since the three random guys were former semiprofessional players from England. To be one man short and still win the matches with like 10-1 is pretty fun, although it can't have been that fun for the other six guys. The semiprofessional players did not want to join our club do to the joining though, but I guess if we keep losing to over 35 teams we'll have to convice the club board to let some good players join for free.
Last and least important I did some statstical research on the website hot or not. The background is that I try to prove to my housemate the Selfproclaimed Master Hunter (SMH, now that the Swedish House Mafia has split up, the abbreviation would be available?) that my excellent work
A proposition for a rating system regarding physical attractiveness
is far superior to any of the scales guys usually use to rate physical attractiveness. The 1-10 scale is bizarrily flawed in it's whole construction which is why I created a better scale in the first place.
The Research
Oh anyway back to the point. On a 1-10 scale, the average girl (or more importantly the median girl) would be rated 5.5, My research after studying 200 entries however showed that the median girl was rated 7.0 at the site. Furthermore the low quartile would be at 3.25 (The limit for being among the ugliest 25 %) while my studies showed the actual value on the site to be 5.57. Finally the high quartile would be at 7.75 (the Hottest 25 %) while the actual value was 8.0. Thus my conclusion was that all girls where rated to high on the site but especially ugly and average girls had too high values.
I did the same sampling for men, but due to research problems only 47 entries where checked. The findings however where interesting. The median man had a rating of 5.16 which is a lot closer to the expected value of 5.5. The lower quartile for men was 4.0 for men which is closer to the real value of 3.25 but still a bit high. Finally the upper quartile for men was 7 which was lower than the expected value of 7.75
So to summarise, the average woman were rated as high as an attractive man, while an ugly woman were rated higher than an average man. This proves with all due certainty that the rating system on a site like hot or not is flawed beyond reckoning and my own rating system based on weighted averages are a superior tool to use.
Research problems
Sadly the site had several flaws that made it impossible to make any statistically valids arguments, below I will list a few:
- Pictures of the same persons came up at several times, this upsets the statistical balance as we preferably would only use the rating of every person once.
- Many of the women lacked an average due to few votes. For the men this was a clear majority. This created a great uncertainity as these people could not be counted in the statistics which ruined most of the validity
- The easyness to manipulate the score. With few voters on every pictures it's easy to ask a few friends to give a picture a good score. The site even suggested people to do so under the tab "Boost your rating"
If you have any comments or any questions you are free to discuss these with me on facebook. In the unlikely event that you are reading this blog but don't have me on facebook you are free to leave a comment under the comment section in this blog.
//Mastern
Annoying birthday and annoying game
My 28th birthday was an annoying day of my life. First of all some recruitment company actually called me... Twice... From a hidden number. As my room is situated in some kind of cell network blind spot, I could not really understand who I were talking to. But on the second call the woman said, "The Connection is still very bad, can you call me later when you are somewhere with coverage" and hung up. Of course this would be a viable option and a reasonable request... Provided of course that the person does not call from a hidden number..
This was just the first of a number annoying events this day. The second one came a bit later when I checked the score of my assessment. Apparently I missed the "HD" grade for one of the courses by two points. This was expected due to the horrendous grade on the first assessment but it's so annoying anyway. I mean "HD" is the highest grade, and not being the smartest kid in the storage facility for stupid kids, THAT is a bad thing!
Things did not get better as I missed a call from the work & travel company. The arrogant and annoying boss told me that there was work on Monday and that I should call him back.. If you leave this kind of message, would not the least that could be expected of you be that the job is still available ten minutes later when someone actually call you back? I mean I would not object if I called him back three hours later, but ten fucking minutes? Seriously
Then began some heavy drinking which were followed by a tour down to the local pub. In my intoxicated state I thought it was a good idea trying to pick up women by showing them my blog. It is not! To be true I somehow managed to pick up minus 1 woman with this method which is some kind of negative achievement (For those questioning the apparent lack of logic, I sent a link to my blog to an online date I were supposed the day after, but who turned out to be impossible to reach)
Today it was time to play my first 90 minute game for a long time.
The best with this game was the pic of me I posted one facebook before the game. Finally I managed to get more likes with an update than the yellow bathing duck I posted a few months ago. The annoying thing was my own performance as well as the team performance. I were bad, some were even worse and we lost a game by 0-3 to an over 35 team. I honestly don't think we managed to have three passes to the right address in a row for the entire game.
Well I guess we can only improve as a team, there is only one way up from this after all.. ;)
// Mastern
Star training, pranks, and dinner with Anna Anka.
This Tuesday I accidentally went training with the QPFC division 2 team. For some reason my teammates were not there, so I got the opportunity to show my great skill and expertise for more able players. It was quite fun to train with good players for once, but I am quite sure I won't be drafted up six divisions.. Strangely enough I am positive that the A-team of Helsingborgs AIS would beat this team quite easily. Learning point Swedish division 5 is better than East Sydney division 2.
Earlier this week a strange event happened. A superhot woman started writing to me on a dating website. After chatting for a while we decided to play a match of tennis. I got the number but after texting back and forth it just died. This would normally be a prank but it's mystical because I don't know anyone who is the lightly mastermind behind and furthermore if you are pranking someone, why not fool them down to the pitch?
Oh anyway, instead of trying to get laid after losing a tennis match to a hot chick I got invited to dinner, by a woman. This could have been a good thing if the woman was not Anna Anka who wanted some help to comprehend the supereasy course we have at the ripoff college. And obviously it's not the real Anna Anka, but it might well be the younger sister, exactly the same voice and also similar general appearance just radiating intelligence and brilliance!
Today I actually got paid by Anna Anka to correct two of her Failed(!) assessment and write a new one as well. It must be an unusual occurence that someone actually fails an assignment at that school but I guess my advise is:
To Avoid Failing an assessment at Australian Pacific College, format the text so anyone actually
understand what question you are answering. When this is done, make sure to press to press F7
for a spelling and grammar check as pages full of red markings in Microsoft Word is not an indication
on a work well done.
That's all. In an hour I turn 28 so with all probability I failed entry into Club 27. Considering I am not at all a musican, that is probably for the best.
// The Master
Lasertag, no electrocution and an interesting backstory
This Friday i introduced a new champion to the noble sport of Lasertag, Danni the Dane. After a very rough start he got the chance to redeem himself as we in the end of the night faced a very uncommon occurence, a group of four women who were there by themselves without any boyfriends.The were incredibly bad and also incredibly persistent as they insisted on facing us without changing the teams for the last five games before the place closed down.
What puzzled me the most was how easy it was to sneak up on them and shoot them in the back. I mean seriously if you are four persons in a team, and you are facing two persons, how can you let them shoot you unprepared all the time. I mean it can't be that difficult to keep track of two people in a tiny arena, or maybe it can be?
Yesterday I went on two online dates, I have been lying low in that field for a long time but I realized last week that unless someone brings a tazer and electrocutes me it can only go better than my meetings with the recruitment companies.
On the bright side I did not get electrocuted, From a negative point of view it did not go well either.
I did not have any high hopes for the first one as the online communication had been staggering at best. But hey she was good looking and I rather pay for a coffee than sitting at home negative without checking it out right? As expected it was a painful and staggering hour before she had to "work" In the best of worlds she would have said "Hey, we obviously have nothing to talk about, but I am horny so lets go to my place and get it on." Clearly I am still not living in the best of worlds.
The second one did not bring any tazer either. This also went a bit better as she was able to communicate in English which is a good start. The communication however did not bring us to a private place where we could get to know each other better, but instead to an Internet cafe where she repeatedly beat me in the computer game, League of Legends.
After a few hours I got an actual text message that saved me from the continuous humiliation as Danni Notifyed me about free goon and free jelly shots at his hostel. During the evening I took part of Dannis backstory which were interesting although not really accurate. The backstory was that he was avoiding his superrich fathers wrath for spending $ 1 million on booze and various stuff to impress and bang lots of chicks back in Denmark.Lacking the high limit credit card he was now staying in Maze Hostel, a genuinely shitty hostel From a mansion to one of the shittier hostels in Sydney, a reversed Cinderella story more or less (Although Cinderella does not contain any parts about massive conspicious consumption to bang a lot of chicks)
The only problem with claiming to have a superrich dad is the fact that business publications regulary publish list over the superrich people in a country.. :P
Oh well in a way it's good that the story did not check out, it would be terrible annoying to accidentaly befriend a Danish superrich person when I could have accidentaly befriended an Australian superrich person instead. Because if i somehow managed to befriend an Australian superrich person, that person could give me a good job, which would be a nice change of fate..:)
//Mastern
Throw a dice instead and reverse order
Today, I witnessed a different form of recruitment process. It was an amusement park that needed some staff so they just gathered shitloads of people to wait for a decade and then do a retarded group activity consisting of dancing to YMCA, jumping around and telling the group what object one would like to be and why. After this approxiamently one out of six were offered a job.
The exact criteria behind this recruitment was unclear but my guess is that the rationale is that since anyone can do the job, there is no point to actually reading the resumes and this process at least distinguishes the company. From my point of view it would have been better if they just gathered the names in a bowl and then pulled some names at random. That would have saved a lot of people a lot of time.
This Evening I tried something in a new order by the way. I went to the pub and then went to the gym. It was a good gym session and my beer muscles made me feel very strong and powerful. As I am writing this I have come up with a new plan " To get drunk and go hunting at a zumba class" To do this however it would be good a wingman, any volunteers? ;)
//Mastern
Engaging the enemy, lazy gays, vitamin deficiency and soccer tournament
Monday and Tuesday this week I felt sick of playing with my balls so I decided to engage the enemy. In this case I am not talking about hunting women in a bar but walking straight in to the offices of the recruitment companies and ask them for a good job. The outcomes were:
- Some were slightly interested but did not want to give me a job
- Some were completely uninterested and did not want to give me a job
- Some had told there receptionist in advance to not let anyone with my intentions in. Since they did not meet me they could not offer me a job.
Well obviously they did not say "I don't want to give you a job" but the slightly more diplomatic "I can't see that we have any suitable positions at the moment" but then again they would not afford to have an office in central Sydney along with staff if they were not actually hiring people. Oh well there is heaps more to visit as I wanted to spread the fun over several weeks...;)
On the Thursday and the Friday me and another guy from WTC worked at the gayest and poshest furniture store in Sydney. There was like 12 people working there and they were all gay. The biggest mystery of all was what all these people were actually hired to do, because there was never more than three customers in the store. Then again since a normal dining chair was $1500 I suppose they can afford having a lot of staff doing nothing. There was by the way one straight guy, the one who actually had to carry the stuff and make all the deliveries while the gays where drinking wine and doing nothing. Needless to say, this guy was very bitter with life..:P
On the Saturday I worked at a music festival. Except for the customers and the vitamin deficiency it was pretty good. Actually these two factors made it pretty bad. I had a good music festival experience at NYE when I worked in a hidden bar with few customers and a manager who provided us with alcohol. Compared to that awesome event yesterday really sucked!
Today I played an internal six a side tournament with my football club, Queens Park Football Club. Considering I am in the eight division team it was a positive surprise that we actually made it past the group stage to the quarter finals. Once in the quarter finals we were no match for a second division team.
See you again whenever I feel like writing..
//The Master
A great initiator, not a very good striker.
Yesterday I went with a housemate to the Mardi Gras 2013. It's kind of a lame event. You stand with thousands of people along a street and watches thousands of dressed up gay people passing by. Oh well lacking better things to do a Saturday night why not.
Anyway after the gay parade stuff we went to a pub. Not the best most posh or fancy one but the cheapest one. Apparently reasonably priced drinks are high in demand a Saturday night so the place was crammed with people. Once inside the pub my housemate showed his great skills as an initiator and conversationalist, as he time after time managed to get conversations started with girls that did not seem that much into us.(My targetting sensors read nothing) anyway every time as he went to the bathroom or whatever the girls asked me the same question "Are you his partner?" and then they left upon realisation that I am not.
Oh well my house mate explained his methodology with some kind of game theory that women does not appreciate men who too obviously are there to pick them up. I have heard this theory before and even though it would seem strange to actually spend all that time and money on make up clothing and drinks to not get any it's after all women so everything is possible, Needless to say it's a bit too indirect if you speak to a woman for 30 minutes and it turns out she stayed all that time cause she thought you were gay?
As for myself I did get motivated by hanging out with someone who actually managed to speak to people instead of crampingly sitting in a corner refusing to speak to anyone claiming that life is pointless (No one mentioned no one forgotten) Sadly neither my initiation or finishing was top notch so all I managed was to get some seemlingly useless numbers. From various scientific sources it always better to get some numbers just for the sake of not going home empty handed. The best move of tonight was when I spoke to a woman and some guy she had spoken to before left her a note with his number. When the other guy left I asked for the note and upon receipt I just throw it behind my shoulder. Needless to say I lost her a bit later along the way but It could have been a classic move..:)
//Mastern
