The Monologues of the Master

This Thursday we got our result back from another retarded course I am starting to think that I might be the smartest kid of the stupid kids after all after scoring 98% and a very clear HD. It did go worse for another classmate who somehow managed to fail and sent a text to me whining about this. I simply replied that if losing $250 and having to write the stupid test again were such a big deal in her life, her life in general must be very good, and I should be the one sending texts whining about my life to her instead. After these wise words she realised that her life was great and stopped whining. The truth can be a powerful weapon sometimes... :)

Good Friday did really not live up to the name as I had a cold and it was a really boring day. In general I think it's a very strange thing in Christianity to celebrate that the founder was executed, but hey if that's what he wanted right? If I were a demigod and some jerks tried nailing me to a cross I would just have fried them with some lightning bolts from my hands... 

Today I went to the beach reading a magazine included in my gym membership. Mostly boring shit about supplements and stuff, but it claimed dark chocolate was healthy so I bought myself a bar. Apparently dark chocolate is good against heart attack but bad against obesity (while light chocolate on the other hand has no pros and also causes obesity)  This is I dilemma as I do know some obese people but I also used to know a guy who died from a heart attack. Obesity is disgusting while dying from heart attack is nothing I fear at present.

If my life follows the example from the guy who died from a heart attack I should be pretty safe at present anyway. Cause that guy was bitter, alone and unemployed for ages and he was healthy as a horse (Smashed me completely at 10 kilometres cross country running at least). Then he found a girlfriend and a job he liked and seemed really happy, more or less living his dream... Then out of a sudden he got a heart attack and died. Since I am hardly living the dream, I reckon I would be pretty immune to a heart attack or as the Swedish saying  "Evil gunpowder is difficult to destroy"  

Learning point from this story is that if I somehow find the girl and job I want, I should start eating moderate doses of dark chocolate to keep both my heart and my fitness at safe levels... ;)

Still bored with life and coughing too much visit the gym I decided to revisit the Kitram Yoga Religion. I went there a few months ago but missed half of the chanting that time since I somehow managed to misread the advertising folder.  For some reason I actually managed to misread the folder today as well, but this time I was an hour early. Since the bar next door served $10 cider jugs (1.1 litre) this was no harm done and instead I saw it as an opportunity to find out whether the Kitram Yoga Religion works when drunk. If anyone wonders: it does not. Chanting boring songs when drunk does not give me spiritual guidance (hallucinations). It was on the other hand a bit annoying that I felt a need to pee after 15 minutes when the session lasted for two hours....

Having said that Kitram yoga religion has its perks

• You only pay $10 and you get a large buffet afterwards
• No silly rules and talks about redemption and hell
• More realistic approach to the age of the universe (Although 13 trillion years seems a bit too much it's still more reasonable than the 6000 years the bible claims)

And to name the cons

• Chanting boring Indian songs for two hours without even getting hallucinations are boring.
• The included buffet only contained vegetarian meals.

//Mastern