The Monologues of the Master

This Friday i introduced a new champion to the noble sport of Lasertag, Danni the Dane. After a very rough start he got the chance to redeem himself as we in the end of the night faced a very uncommon occurence, a group of four women who were there by themselves without any boyfriends.The were incredibly bad and also incredibly persistent as they insisted on facing us without changing the teams for the last five games before the place closed down.

 

What puzzled me the most was how easy it was to sneak up on them and shoot them in the back. I mean seriously if you are four persons in a team, and you are facing two persons, how can you let them shoot you unprepared all the time. I mean it can't be that difficult to keep track of two people in a tiny arena, or maybe it can be?

 

Yesterday I went on two online dates, I have been lying low in that field for a long time but I realized last week that unless someone brings a tazer and electrocutes me it can only go better than my meetings with the recruitment companies. 

 

On the bright side I did not get electrocuted, From a negative point of view it did not go well either.

 

I did not have any high hopes for the first one as the online communication had been staggering at best. But hey she was good looking and I rather pay for a coffee than sitting at home negative without checking it out right? As expected it was a painful and staggering hour before she had to "work" In the best of worlds she would have said "Hey, we obviously have nothing to talk about, but I am horny so lets go to my place and get it on."  Clearly I am still not living in the best of worlds.

 

The second one did not bring any tazer either. This also went a bit better as she was able to communicate in English which is a good start. The communication however did not bring us to a private place where we could get to know each other better, but instead to an Internet cafe where she repeatedly beat me in the computer game, League of Legends. 

 

After a few hours I got an actual text message that saved me from the continuous humiliation as Danni Notifyed me about free goon and free jelly shots at his hostel. During the evening I took part of Dannis backstory which were interesting although not really accurate. The backstory was that he was avoiding his superrich fathers wrath for spending $ 1 million on booze and various stuff to impress and bang lots of chicks back in Denmark.Lacking the high limit credit card he was now staying in Maze Hostel, a genuinely shitty hostel From a mansion to one of the shittier hostels in Sydney, a reversed Cinderella story more or less (Although Cinderella does not contain any parts about massive conspicious consumption to bang a lot of chicks)

 

The only problem with claiming to have a superrich dad is the fact that business publications regulary publish list over the superrich people in a country.. :P

 

Oh well in a way it's good that the story did not check out, it would be terrible annoying to accidentaly befriend a Danish superrich person when I could have accidentaly befriended an Australian superrich person instead. Because if i somehow managed to befriend an Australian superrich person, that person could give me a good job, which would be a nice change of fate..:)

 

//Mastern