The Monologues of the Master

My room mate from Korea is not a very interesting person. As a matter of fact he is completely uninteresting. Yesterday however an almost unique event occured. He proved able to socialise and speak with people; who would have guessed?

 

The background was that I was boozing with my house mates, The Selfproclaimed Master Hunter and the American Fisherman, when I realized that the Korean room mate might be able to speak if provided with alcohol and high grade caffeine powder. And the thesis proved correct, he even managed to get a number while hunting later that evening!

 

So how did the hunting go? Not very well. Few memorable moments. One of them was that I and the Fisherman made out with the same ugly woman. I was drunk and thought "A hole is a goal" more or less. Somehow I managed to offend it, so she went over to the fisherman and said "Do you want to make out to piss him off?" Apparently he complied and then she went home with her friends.  Why this would piss me off however I don't know; I reckon it's kind of a funny story with some friends making out with the same ugly woman.

 

Later that evening I saw something very puzzling; I saw the Fisherman talk to some very ugly women. This would normally mean he's really desperate, but since  he has a No Strings Attached relationship with an attractive Brazilian woman (I saw her earlier during the evening she does exist) this cannot be the case. Oh anyway they were so ugly; Imagine yourself uglier versions of Julia Gillard and you get the picture.One can say that I'd rather chew my arm off than banging them. This however, is not true in a literal sense as I obviously prefer banging whatever horrible thing coming my way than becoming a cripple.

 

Among other things during the evening one can mention The Master Hunter got cranky when introduced as the Master Hunter to various women. This is such bullshit as Master Hunter is a great way to be introduced I reckon. Of course one cannot introduce oneself as a Master Hunter but if a friend does it, it's a great thing as it verifies a persons value in the group and among women. Unverified sources also claim that a man's attractiveness to a woman can increase by up to 8 per cent if he perceived by her to be attractive to other women. But yeah that's alright he can start introducing me as the Master Hunter instead if he thinks that is a bad thing; I would carry the title with honour!

 

Soon a soccer match, and since most of hangover stims from heavy overconsumption of caffeine powder, I should be fine.

 

// The Master