The Monologues of the Master

Yesterday I was out exploring Rose Bay with the Master Hunter and the Fisherman. We found a secluded place and decided to explore further. Among the masculine things we did one can mention:

·         Walking barefoot on slippery cliffs full of pointy mussel shells. Auch!

·         Snorkelling outside of the shark nets

·         Climbing a 20 meter high cliff without assistance (This is obviously a lie, in reality we climbed about 5 meters with the assistance of the rope that was strategically placed there.)

Anyway when it came to the great showdown of masculinity we all bailed out. The reason for this was the low tide. It’s one thing to jump off a cliff 13 meter above the sea level and fall down in 5 meter deep water (which the Master Hunter claimed to have done a few days earlier) and a completely different thing to jump 15 meters down into 3 meter deep water. The first scenario is cool and relatively safe, the second scenario is reckless and probably pretty dangerous. As I sat at the top of the world the Master Hunter took a picture of me showing what a great adventurer I am. Sadly he pictured me as a great gay adventurer, so he did a sloppy Photoshop thing with the pic and inserted a gay Asian into the pic. Since he is actually working in the field I am sure he could do better if he wanted. Anyway here is the pic if anyone is curious.

As the great minds we are we spent the night discussing various theoretical topics. The first one was physics where I am sure I am right. The Master Hunter claimed that the speed something will fall with if thrown from a high height is dependent on the weight of the object. This is however not the case. The only thing that matters is the density and the shape of the object.  So a 1 kilo iron ball will fall with same speed as a 100 kilo iron ball if thrown from an airplane provided that they have the same shape. After enlightening him with the fact that tests about this has been made since the renaissance, he finally gave in and realized this basic law of physics. When it came to another matter however we could not meet an agreement. The Matter was: How much of a man’s attractiveness that stems from money/power. According to some sources it’s 50 % of a man’s total attractiveness that stems from this source while the Master Hunter claimed it was only 10 %. I believe money and power is an important part of a man’s attractiveness although it would benefit my current situation to believe what the Master Hunter believes.

Obviously this is a very tricky question to solve empirically. One could of course ask a lot of women but most likely they will answer the politically correct answer; i.e. personality. And anyway to ask a person about their values is bullshit anyway as the only way to figure out a person’s actual values is through observing their behaviour.  So what observations do I have that indicates that money/power is an aphrodisiac for men? Well for starters it seems very common that old and rich men are with a lot younger women. Another evidence is that famous musicians that have both money and power (Power over the mind through being the centre of attention for like 50,000 persons) can basically just point at a woman he want to fuck at the concert and then fuck her. Since a lot of these musicians look awful this is another true indicator of the variables importance. A third indicator is what happens to the average white guy when he goes to some third world country where he is relatively rich. In my experience women come from everywhere sucking up to one in those countries and since I can’t be a lot hotter all of a sudden it must be due to my perceived wealth. It’s not for nothing that despised outsiders from the Western world goes to Asia to “buy a wife” when they realize that their relationship prospects back home looks hopeless.

When it comes to the “buy a wife” theme I have realized something about myself. That my prejudices against white/Asian couples reasonably would not apply to Australian conditions. You see in Sweden when you see a man with an Asian woman, one can safely assume that the guy is a loser who saw no option but to buy a wife in the Asia. For sure there a shitloads of immigrants in Sweden but most of them is from the Middle East practising the “peace loving religion” so it’s highly unlikely that an Asian and a white becomes a couple under normal circumstances. In Australia however it would seem pretty likely that this would occur considering how many Asians that are around here.

Moving on to today’s game that was kind of an inverse of the other games. We actually scored a goal and our goalie sucked so we lost anyway. In most of our games this far we have hardly touched the ball and our goalie has been the man of the match saving us from humiliation. But today however we should have won but sadly the finishing of our forward Pistol Pete (I should probably not call him Pistol as he can’t shoot at all. The goal he scored he ran with the ball into the goal more or less) Since we Missed heaps of chances and our normally good goalkeeper had an identity crisis believing he was a female goalkeeper at two occasions; we lost with 1-2. The reference to a female goalkeeper is because both the goals we conceded where high and slows balls that a goalkeeper really should save. For some reason that is beyond me that kind of goal is one of the most common one in female soccer.  

As the man of the match I would appoint Pete. His running and speed made sure that we for the first game in the season had an attacking game plan and actually came to goal scoring opportunities; sure his finishing was dismal, but to be appointed as the man of the match in this team one does not have to make a brilliant effort. As for myself I played attacking midfielder and it went a lot better than last week. The highlights were all the good passes I got to Pete. The frustrations were two: my feet and legs were sore (hard pitch and body pump day before to blame) and the guy in my team that always calls for the ball even though he is not good position. If someone calls for the ball my attention will automatically go to that person. If it then turns out that the person calling for is either impossible to pass or in stupid position I will lose momentum and the ball. I mean it is common sense to only call for the ball when actually in a good position.

// The Master